ETA June 19- BNA!!

It's my turn, even as intimidating as it is, I've got the mic. Before I give you the blow by blow from my perspective, I need to update everyone on the latest because things are changing minute to minute. In the past 24hrs. we have been investigating different options/Doctors/MRI's as well as hospitals. After much consideration, a decision has been made. Vanderbilt is their final choice and the date has changed. Dr. Thompson agreed to do his surgery on Friday, June 19th, his day off. What a blessing he is! He was able to answer all the questions Nathan and Lizzy had about FMRI's vs. IMRI's. Dr. Thompson was more than agreeable to work with Duke if Nathan wasn't comfortable with the original plan. It seems the FMRI is really all Dr. Thompson needs (besides God's touch and intention)!! We are all excited about the change of plans and now count less days in wait of surgery/healing.

As most all of you know,  I'm Na Na's/ Tron's (apparently a new nickname because of his sub-human techie capabilities) momma. For the past 10 years, in addition to being his mom, I've been a flight attendant. A lot of our training in my profession consist of, 'what to do in the event of an emergency?' As I've experienced on the job, it's one thing in the simulator and an entirely different scenario at 30,000 ft.  Such has been the case these past few weeks. As Nathan's mom, I was blindsided.

Nothing, I mean nothing could have prepared me for this, or so I thought. Getting a call with talk of seizures, masses, especially in someone's brain, is not in my manual. Factoring in mind, 'the someone' is Nathan, my youngest child. I've been trained not to freak. Keep a calm demeanor. Stay focused. I must know which are usable exits, and then direct everyone to proceed there, as quickly as possible. However, with this emergency, I sat in my hotel room frozen, overwhelmed and at a loss of where to go or what to do. This is my only son. My baby. No. Not this. We are not doing this. I was wrong.

After weeks to digest it all, we wait. We wait on the day to remove this unwanted invader. As we wait, it's given me a chance to process. I'm a processor, so I've needed the time. Looking back, a lot makes sense. Hind sight is always twenty-twenty. We had observed some slight changes in Nate's personality. He'd gotten glasses. Plus, several other minor, nominal things still, never would anyone ever associate such subtleties with a brain tumor. Now, it makes sense.

At first, I didn't think we were prepared. However, that's not a true statement. How did the One who set the stars in place go before us? IN ONE MILLION WAYS! First, and most importantly, our family. This was not our first rodeo this year. Hannah had spent 2 months in UT Hospital, during her pregnancy with the twins, then two additional months going daily to take care of them. Our broken, rag-tag bunch, banded together during those months, forgiving each other and setting aside the past. We had one mission. It was to get those babies here safely. Praise God he agreed!

Now, we are at it again, blending families and taking our posts, with the common goal of complete, whole recovery for Nathan. This tumor was no surprise to God. Only us. The secret is out. Dr. Thompson has mapped out its borders, and is preparing to wage war on that sucker.

As for my preparation, He (the Master Healer) had been deepening the roots of my faith, forcing growth in seasons of drought and pain. Why? For such a time as this.  In addition, refining me to display the likeness of His son, who died for us all. Grapevines produce the best grapes under duress. It forces the roots into the limestone. If you coddle a vine, it's weak and bears little fruit. The Vinedresser knows this. I FULLY trust his loving hand. As hard as it is, I can honestly say, with certainty, He has kingdom purposes for Nathan. Deeper roots are a necessity for such a position, as they are for us all. Never would we dig deep left to ourselves. As I groan, crying out to Him to heal my Na, deep down I know his love. Most of all, he loves him more than me. That places me in good company, with a Lover who understands my fears and love for her son.

As far as a situation placing more on you than you can bear............ummmmm ask Hannah. Ask me. What I do know is we worship a God who comes into our suffering. Into the pain. Through friends, his word, worship etc.....The promise is, we will experience hardship but He provides what we need to persevere.

I told Nathan and Liz the other day that they would probably go through a myriad of emotions. It's normal and expected. I have ranted to Him more than once. He knows me, letting me wallow, pout, and wail all I want. What usually happens- I, as Job, realize my arrogance, insinuating I know. Then I remember God's question's to Job.  (Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Job 38:4)! Worry says you think YOU know. I. Know. Nothing.  I cry.......a lot, then-repeat the cycle.

It boils down to this, do I trust the one who laid the foundations? Before he was born, he was prayed for. We asked for a son. God agreed. The thing is, he's not mine. I am NOT calling the shots. So, I plead my case. I lay him at the alter. I cry......and wait. All that mapping Dr. Thompson is doing is old news to the One who knows his number of hairs. Right?

My focus in recent years has been to be about the kingdom work God has vested interest in. I can only pray we will rejoice in days to come. Rejoice at a healed, tumor free Nathan. Rejoice as many turn to the only One who gives hope and life.


For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

He is sufficient,

G

One of the most beautiful things a Mussie could ever see are her two grandsons bonding as best friends. Precious Angels. I love these two!!