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What's up everyone!

We got back from UAB last Friday, where we had another MRI. The treatment continues to hold the tumor in a stable state, which is great news! This was a big MRI because it showed that the infusion alone is keeping it stable.

It may be my generation (or that I am generally impatient), but I am ready for the tumor to either start shrinking or progressing—preferably the former. What is that quote from Shawshank Redemption? "You either get busy living or get busy dying". It is morbid thing to say, but that is kinda how I feel. I have to learn to trust God's timing. Sitting still has never been my strong suit. After everything I have gone through, this is the thing I continue to struggle with the most. It so much easier to say it than do it. Trust in God. Trust in God. I can say it all day. I can say it to other people no problem (well, when I can talk ; ) ), but when it comes down to it, am I really trusting God? I don't think so. I am trying, but I am doing a poor job.

I can definitely tell God is trying to make me sit still, because he has stripped me of the one thing that brings me joy—running. I went to the doctor and long story short, I have a Morton's Neuroma. I got a cortisone shot today, so hopefully I can get a few more long training runs in before my first 50k on Oct. 1, but it has really bummed me out (my wife can attest to this, as I am miserable when I can't run). This is definitely God saying to sit still and couldn't be worse timing, but I have no choice in the matter now—he is in control and knows exactly what he is doing.

In a search to find something to do that doesn't involve running, I went fly-fishing (one of the few things I can do) with a friend of mine, Jared Houghton, who told me this crazy story of how he and another one of my friends, Travis Truett, met this guy named Nick Kokonas (the co-owner of this 3-star michelin—the highest rating— restaurant called Alinea) at a party. Long story short, they had no idea who this guy was, and he invited them to have drinks at his restaurant. Jared and Travis were talking about how we had this restaurant in Chattanooga that had the best fried chicken. Not knowing they were in a 3-star michelin restaurant, Nick went back and stopped the kitchen and had them make fried chicken... Needless to say, Jared said it was the best fried chicken he had ever put in his mouth. Eventually, they found out this place was the first episode on this Netflix's show Chef's Table - Season 2. Crazy.

My mom was in town this weekend and she loves cooking shows. I told her about the insane story Jared told me, so we decided to watch that episode. It tells the story of the chef, Grant, and his rise to success—all the awards, the recognition, etc. That is when the story line flips. He had a spot on his tongue that he went to see the doctor about. Cancer. They gave him a 2 month prognosis. He chose to live out his life without going through all the surgery, etc. The story of Grant's cancer, because of him being a world renowned chef, eventually became public knowledge. He was contacted by University of Chicago Medical Center, where he was talked into doing a phase 1 clinical trial (sound familiar?). As he began treatment, he slowly began to lose his taste until it was completely gone (think about all the symptoms I have). The chef who couldn't taste. He had to think of new system of how to get across a certain taste to his staff of cooks. It made him more cerebral, more creative. It forced him to think about things in a different way. This became the "new normal", and he accepted it. At the end of the episode, you learn that he is cancer free. He starts to taste sugar again.. then he starts to taste salt, until he regains all his taste!

My mom and I just sat back and didn't talk after it was over. We are both processors and just had to take time to process what we just watched. I couldn't think of a better message for me to hear. It gave me a hope that I have been longing for—that the tumor will shrink and these symptoms I am having will eventually go away. Maybe God put a neuroma in my foot just so I could go fishing with Jared, hear that story, which would prompt my mom and me to watch that episode. It would be just like God to take a painful neuroma and turn it into a message for me to hear. Nothing in this world is a coincidence.

Thank you for all of those who continue to pray for my family and me! They are working in ways we never expected.

Much Love,
Nathan

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