Monday, January 4, 2016

Rest



Hey Everyone! It’s Nathan.


Here is a quick update of what is happening over the next month or two:
  • I was published in Forbes, which was pretty sweet.
  • We are going to Vandy Jan. 7 for an MRI scan, and we have our results meeting on Jan. 8. This scan will be much more telling, in terms of regrowth or lack thereof, since the effects of radiation have worn off and the swelling has decreased. We will definitely update everyone. 
  • Next week I start my 4th cycle of chemo.
  • I am going to run a half marathon (lord willing) on March 6, 2016 to benefit the American Brain Tumor Association (ABTA). If you are a runner - or even if you are not - they have a 5k, half and full marathon. To sign up under our ABTA team click here. Please note, you still have to register for the event. The team registration is to say that you are representing the ABTA and to raise money for them. 


Now for the good stuff..

In Tim Keller’s Podcast, Work and Rest, he discusses what the Sabbath is all about. He talks about a lot of stuff, but one point stuck with me: how we will never truly be able to ‘rest’ until we stop the underlying need to try to prove ourselves.

I have thought about this point a lot and it seems like God gives us these incredible gifts, that quickly turn into weaknesses if they are not kept in check.

I feel the need to prove myself in everything, whether it is something important like work, sports or some stupid game- like Uno. It doesn’t matter. I always want to be the best at whatever I do. It is a good thing to have drive and ambition, but if kept unchecked, it can slowly become a self-destructing force. It means family gets pushed aside to focus solely on work, because I have to be the first one to respond to an email. It means focusing solely on climbing and justifying being late for a dinner with my family.

I am not even sure who I am trying to prove myself to? Even in High School, I didn’t really care about incentives from my parents for good grades. I wanted to make good grades because I wanted to be the best.

In Donald Miller’s book Scary Close - if you haven’t read it, it is a must read - he talks about how ‘being funny’ was his persona: something he could always hide behind. God gave him the gift of a good sense of humor, but it spiraled into something that God did not intend. At parties, Donald put on his persona of the ‘funny guy’, even though the real Donald was dying on the inside. Being funny became his idol.

I hide behind ‘attempting to be the best’. That is my persona, and I feel like I have to keep up the act for people to continue liking me - which I consciously know is not true, but it is so deep seeded at this point it is hard for me to pull that ‘mask’ down to find out.

As my Dad said “It’s not our weaknesses that get us into trouble, but our strengths. If our strengths are left uncontrolled, they begin to become false idols.” Don’t let the gifts God has given us turn into idols or something we hide behind.


This blog was kinda all over the place, so here are the main takeaways:
  • There is no reason to try and prove yourself. God knows exactly what we are and to try to prove yourself to him would be foolish.
  • Strengths can turn into idols if left unchecked. Don’t let God’s gift turn into a weakness 
  • I am working on laying down ‘my mask’ of being the best. God gave me drive and ambition, and I am letting it take control of my life. 


We couldn’t have made it this far without all the love and support from everyone. Especially, Beautycounter - a company whose mission is to produce safe, carcinogen free healthcare products. Elizabeth's dream has been to go to Paris, so we decided a while back that we would go for our 5th anniversary and have been saving for the trip ever since. Beautycounter asked all their sales reps to submit Christmas wishes, so Katie (Elizabeth's sister) wrote that liz's dream has always been to go to paris and wrote about all we have been through over the past six months. Long story short, they are sending us on an all expenses paid trip to Paris!!! So thank you, thank you, thank you Beautycounter!!



Here are some recent pics:

Liz and Jack at the Christmas Choo Choo Express
Stewart (liz's brother) and Jenny's Wedding!
Snoopers Rock


Much Love,

Nate