Second Round of Chemo in the Books

Hey! It's Nathan.

Here is a quick update since the last post:

Shortly after Liz posted the last blog post, we went to see Dr. Moots for our appointment. We told him about the seizure, and how, now, I feel like I am constantly fighting off seizures throughout the day. So he had us stay overnight to get an unscheduled MRI to make sure everything was still good.

We received the results back the following morning, and everything was great, so thank you to all you prayer warriors out there. I have still been fighting off seizures and it has been well past the 7 day period that your brain needs to recover from a seizure (keep in mind I just finished my second round of chemo last night, so has already been terrible week). So we sent Dr. Moots an email yesterday letting him know what is going on. He said if I still feel like this after the weekend, he wants me to come back next Monday or Tuesday for some EEG testing.

Now you all are all up to date!

So what does fighting off a seizure even mean? Well, for me it means I can't watch TV, do jigsaw puzzles (tried), read more than a few pages, listen to Audible, or basically anything fun, other than coloring and playing Uno without getting the feeling that I am about to have a seizure. My eyes start twitching back and forth, my heart starts racing, and I kinda get this Aura. It is tough to put into words, but that is the best I have.

We have played more Uno over the past 10 days than I would ever want to play in a lifetime... I am just now able to get back on a computer for the first time and it feels incredible!

I will tell you what though, I truly don't know where I would be without Elizabeth. I know I say it every post, but she has been patient, strong, loving, and understanding through all 109,809 games of Uno. She has also gotten pretty good at cooking Ketogenic recipes! She has been a rock that God knew, before I met her, would be there to take the hits and continue sticking her head out for me.

I get so worked up and frustrated when I can't do normal things, like watch TV or go to work, and I can't help but think what is God teaching me here? I am missing something or does He just want me to be miserable?

He wants me to learn patience. 

Things have stopped happening when I want them to. Want to go to work today? Not happening. Want to watch TV? Not happening. He is forcing me to be still, and for someone who constantly tries to fill up his schedule with meetings and appointments, being still is the hardest thing to do. He is purposefully slowing my life down, but why?

I don't know the answer to that question yet, but my dad gave a great analogy. He said:

"When we get to heaven, God is going to press play on our lives and then we will see the butterfly effect of all he has done: The girl who wanted to become a brain surgeon after watching my surgery goes on to create the cure for Glioblastoma, a non-believer reading this blog who becomes the next Tim Keller, etc." 

So no, I don't have the answer, but I truly trust he has a purpose for slowing my life down. Maybe it's to just to stop and remember what is important..

Thank you to all of those who continue to support and pray for me and my family. I wouldn't be here without all the love I have received from you all.

I will leave you with a quote from Os Hillman's "Upside to Adversity". Os is reading the letter of an anonymous old confederate solider:

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve;
I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health, that I might do greater things;I was given infirmity, that I might do better things.I asked for riches, that I might be happy;
I was given poverty, that I might be wise.
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life;
I was given life, that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I asked for but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among men, most richly blessed.

Just because we pray for something does not mean we will get it. The author above received the total opposite, and considered himself 'richly blessed' at the end of the day. Just like the Oracle in the movie The Matrix, she will tell you exactly what you need to hear. She told Neo he wasn't the One, but all along she knew that's EXACTLY what he needed to hear to become the One.

I may be asking for complete healing, but he may have better things in store for me.

Me getting dominated by Liz in our 1,000 game of Uno..

Much Love,
Nathan

For what purpose?

Hey everyone,
It's been a while since we've updated the blog, so I figured I'd bring you all up to speed.

Nathan finished his first round of chemo which was for the month of October. He takes it every 28 days, so he begins his 2nd round this coming Monday. The 1st round hit him a lot harder than we expected. He takes his Temodar (chemo) by pill once a day for five consecutive days in a row. Then, he's off the rest of the month to recover. So, 5 days on chemo and 23 days off.  During those 5 days of his first round of chemo, he pretty much slept the majority of the day because he either felt faint, nauseous, or just exhausted. While he was taking his chemo, he was still on steroids from his radiation treatments back in July/August because his brain was still swollen from that. So, when he finished his chemo, he then had to taper off of steroids that next week. For those of you who have *fortunately* never had to take steroids (no, not the kind that make you buff - quite the opposite, actually), you feel like you have the flu when you stop taking them. So, he was basically out of commission for two weeks and stuck in our house....Not to mention that on top of that, Jack came down with a bad cold and 102 fever. Luckily, my parents came to the rescue on that one. So, between the last week of October and now, he FINALLY was starting to feel normal again. We went to a Halloween party AND a Moon Taxi concert, and Nathan did great! We stayed out until 11:00PM!


This past weekend was Jack's 2nd birthday party. He actually doesn't turn two until November 22nd, but we had it early to work around Nathan's chemo schedule. Jack is pretty much obsessed with any kind of transportation vehicle (planes, trains & automobiles), so we decided to honor Chattanooga and have a Choo Choo themed birthday party. It was so much fun! Nathan felt great throughout the whole weekend. I wish I could post pictures from the party, but our wifi at the hotel is ridiculously slow.

On Monday, Nathan worked a full day. Jack and I came to pick him up (I still have to drive him but his 6 months of 'no driving' ends on December 4th), and everything was normal. We came home, Nathan and Jack set up his new train table, and I was making soup in the kitchen. After Nathan finished, he went into the den to watch TV. Some time after that, I came around the corner to ask him a question and saw that he was having a full-blown seizure. He hasn't had one in 5 months, so I was very shocked - to say the least. Seizures are a very frightening experience but luckily, it lasted a little over a minute, and he was coherent afterward, with the help of some meds. So, now, he's back at square one with recovering AND driving (6 more months of ride-alongs), and now, we're trying to figure out what triggered it after being seizure-free for so long. We already had an appointment scheduled for Wednesday at Vanderbilt with his neuro oncologist (chemo doctor) for a checkup, labs, and to see how his first round of chemo went. Hopefully, we'll find out some answers tomorrow.

Yes, we are frustrated. Yes, we are a little discouraged. No, our faith is not shaken.

"...whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." - James 1:2-4

We are still praising God for the wonderful gifts in our lives. Although we never refer to it as a "gift", we are seeing God's plan unfold in the midst of Nathan's tumor.  If it weren't for his tumor, Nathan's and my relationship with God would never be this strong nor this transparent. Yes, we are suffering. In more ways than I can think of. But, won't we all suffer at some point in our lives? Everyone in this life will. No one is spared from suffering.

In "Holding on to Hope," Nancy Guthrie writes:

In today's modern world, we expect a cure for every illness, a replacement for every loss, a fix for every failure. We are shocked when hardship comes our way.

When Job's world completely fell apart, his wife said to him, "Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die."  But Job replied, "You talk like a godless woman. Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?"' - Job 2:10

-Job's acceptance and even expectation of both good and bad things from God is in sharp contrast to our expectations today, which is why we have such a hard time responding to suffering in a godly way like Job did. We have an unspoken expectation that a good God will bring only what we consider to be good things in our lives. We never expect him to allow and perhaps even bring difficulty in our lives. But he does.

"For men are not cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men"
-Lamentations 3:31-33.

---So, what does this mean? No suffering for God's children? NO.

It means no meaningless suffering. If God has allowed suffering into your life, it is for a purpose. A good purpose. A holy purpose.

The world tells us to run from suffering, to avoid it at all costs, to cry out to heaven to take it away. Few of us would choose to suffer. Yet when we know that God has allowed suffering into our lives for a purpose, we can embrace it instead of running from it, and we can seek God in the midst of suffering.

So now, instead of asking God, "Why? Why Nathan? Why us?" We're trying to move toward, "For what purpose?" ...and I think the answer is to show others the glory of God.

Thank you for your continued prayers,
Elizabeth

October Update

Dear Prayer Partners,

Nathan has completed 6 weeks of chemo + radiation treatments which has been followed by a 4 week treatment-free period to allow him to regain strength and rest. During that time, his “rest” included a Knoxville and Chattanooga Celebration-from-Treatment party and even a trip to the Bahamas for 4 days. (Yes, we had a ball until the hurricane came calling!)

 This week Nathan had his first MRI since this brain tumor was removed. We went to Vanderbilt with him and the results were encouraging. I understand it, an MRI is a bit tough to read this close to radiation treatments because the radiation causes the brain to swell. Cancer cells and inflammation look the same in an MRI. There were “enhanced” areas on the MRI but the oncologist and radiologist both agreed that that they were a result of the inflammation from the treatments. So, we entered that appointment as a win for the home team and left relieved and grateful.

 Nathan will no longer get radiation treatments but his chemo will increase. Starting next week, he will begin taking chemo again but this time it will be in larger doses than before. He will take Temodar for 5 days and then no chemo for the next 25 days. That cycle will continue for 6-12 months. He will go back to Vanderbilt in 1-2 months for another MRI.

 To his credit, Nathan has kept a great attitude and an understated, steady faith which is infectious and uplifting. He has voluntarily committed to a strict ketosis diet in an effort to starve cancer while feeding the healthy ones. I am not sure what all that diet entails, but from what little I have seen, every food that I like is prohibited. Nathan exercises and goes to work almost every day, even after double treatments. Like most of us, I learn more by watching than my hearing and class never ends for me when it comes to how Nathan continues to deal with all this. Moreover, I could not be more grateful for his sweet, unfailingly supportive wife Elizabeth. They are a great pair.

 Thank you so much for your persistent prayers and many varied acts of kindness that in so many different ways have demonstrated your unselfish love. So many people have simply been so kind, truly so, so, kind.

 God continues to be Good. Even in the midst of this dark situation He continues to illuminate unexpected corners with joy, healing and . My brothers and sisters at Community Evangelistic Church will sometimes say, “No Test, No Testimony.” Amen. One thing we can say with certainly is that God is building in us a testimony and who doesn't like a good story?


Blessing on Each of You!


Buddy Sexton

Our month off

Hey everyone! We haven't blogged for some time, so I thought I'd give everyone a quick update.

We are finishing up our month off from treatment - which went by incredibly too fast. This past month was a blast filled with birthday parties, engagement parties, Nathan's "end of radiation celebration", a trip to the Bahamas, and ended with my 10 year high school reunion. We lived it up over the past 4 weeks! Nathan has been pretty good this past month. He's had some major headaches here and there, but, for the most part, he's felt well. Below are some pictures to document our fun...

Last weekend of August:

Stewart  & Jenny's engagement party on Nathan's last weekend of treatment

Nathan, me, Jack, Stewart (my brother), Jenny, Miller, Katie (my sister), Eloise (our neice), my mom, Beth, and my dad, Buddy

1st weekend of September:

Jack and Nathan at Simms' 2nd birthday party!

Nathan, Hannah (his sister) and Simms (our nephew)

Jack, obviously having a blast!

Nathan & friends in Knoxville to celebrate Nathan finishing radiation

James, Nathan, Walter, Paul, Cal & Carson

2nd weekend of September:

Nathan's "End of Radiation Celebration" in Chattanooga

Nathan and his mama, Gretchen, celebrating in Chattanooga 

Alex, Nathan & Stephen  in Chattanooga

Nathan and Matt

Girlfriends celebrating in Chattanooga

Kate, Hannon, Meredith, Liz, baby Grainger, me, baby Thomas, Lindsey, and Katie

Our sweet Jack playing football at the party

3rd weekend of September:

Nathan, Jack and me in Knoxville to cheer on our Vols!
(Clearly, it hasn't been helping them...)

4th weekend of September:

Our view from our room in the Bahamas

Nathan and his dad, Buddy, on the beach

Nathan and me swimming with Palmer, the dolphin

Nathan and me in the Bahamas

Nathan's dad, Buddy, his stepmom, Debbie, Nathan and me having a great beach day!

  

Now, back to reality. Ugh.

We are leaving tomorrow for Vanderbilt for a follow up MRI to see how well Nathan responded to those 6 weeks of chemo and radiation back in August. His doctors wanted to wait a month after treatment to run these tests, because his brain was too swollen to do them immediately after treatment. Because of the swelling, they wouldn't be able to tell if there was any regrowth and if he responded positively to treatment. So, tomorrow is the big day! Nathan goes in at 3pm for labs and 4pm for his MRI. We are spending the night in Nashville tomorrow night, and we meet with his doctor on Wednesday morning at 8:30 to discuss the results and our next steps. To all you prayer warriors out there, please pray for good results from this MRI and specifically that there isn't any regrowth.

Thank you for all of your support and prayers. We truly appreciate each one.

Love,
Elizabeth

The Finish Line

Hey Everyone!

I know it has been a while since the last update, so I will do my best to cover everything in between!

Today was my last day of radiation!! Man, I can't tell you how good it feels to be finished with the first treatment hurdle. It was by far the biggest one. Now, I get to take a month break to let my body recover before going back on chemo. During this recovery time, we are going to take a much needed trip to the Bahamas with my family, which we couldn't be more excited about!

After we get back, I will resume chemo again around the first week of October, but it will be a little bit different. I will take an increased dosage of an oral chemo pill (Temodar) for 5 days straight and then I get 23 days off. I will do this for another 6-12 months, depending on how the scans look.

We go back to Vandy for my first scan on Oct. 6. They say the first scan will not be quite as clear, due to the swelling/irritation caused by the radiation, but Lord willing, I want it to be the best first scan they have ever seen and am doing everything in my power to see that it happens.

So what have you missed since the last update?

I delayed going back on steroids for as long as a could and tried to manage the brain swelling through the use of boswellia extract, exercise and other things. However, despite my best attempts, I had to get back on them two weeks ago. Steroids ARE THE WORST. These are not the type of steroids you hear about on TV that make you looked jacked. The steroids I am on are like having all the negative side effects of taking adderall (restlessness, frustration, mood swings, etc.) with none of the productive upside. Luckily, the new diet I have adopted has really helped to eliminate a lot of the mood swings associated with the steroids, and now that I am done with radiation, I will start tapering down from them next week. Hallelujah!

A lot of people have been asking about my diet, so I will try explain it (with my chemo-brain) as best as I can...

I have adopted the Ketogenic Diet, which is traditionally an 80% fat, 15% protein, and 5% net carbs diet (to get net carbs you take fiber out of the total carbs). The main idea (and I have done tons of research through scholarly articles) behind this diet is that cancer cells cannot convert fat into energy efficiently. Cancer cells (especially in the brain) need glucose to survive, so if they can't get glucose (carbs breakdown into glucose), those cells are left to die. The process of converting fats to energy is called ketosis, which is where the diet gets its name. I have been monitoring blood ketone levels on my own each week to make sure I am in a constant state of ketosis, and I have been! That is the Keto Diet in a big nutshell.

These past couple weeks have actually been some of the best. I have been able to go to work 3-4 half days a week, which is nice to be able to provide some normalcy in all this. Here is a pic of me and my incredible team!

The support I have gotten and, continue to get, from family and friends has been unbelievable -especially from my incredible wife, Elizabeth. She has been a rock through this whole process. Her strength and willingness to help in any way she can is truly amazing. She is an inspiration to me everyday. 

The love I have received from everyone is a true representation of God's out pouring love. I know I have said this before, but as terrible as this situation is for my family and me, it is the best thing that could have happened to me. It has lit a fire in my soul to long for and want Jesus... To want Him to be near and present to me. I can honestly say that I am not sure if I would have ever had this craving to get to know God on a personal level if it wasn't for this tumor. 

While I am doing everything on my end to try and get better, I realize that, ultimately, my life is in God's hands. I am putting all my trust in him and am patiently waiting in his hedge of protection for him to tell me where to go next. I have a tendency to worry when I can't see over the hedge to "what's next", but I don't need to know what's next! I need to trust He has a perspective that I don't have. 

I know He is here with me, my family and you at this very moment. At the end of the day, that is all that matters. 

I love you all. Thank you for the continued prayers, love and support. They mean the world. I will leave you with a passage from Streams in the Desert and a few pictures...

August 28, Streams in the Desert:

My son, Jack, taking after his dada:

Radiation Treatment:

Eric Berry joined the fight! Special thanks to the Bailey's and Colquitts for getting this together!

Love, 

Nate

Week 4

Here's the latest update on Nathan:

He is starting his 4th week of chemo and radiation today. So, as of tomorrow, he will be halfway done. Yay!

I think it is starting to take a toll on him. He's very tired now and has started to lose some of his hair. Losing his hair doesn't seem to be a big deal for him which is, in a way, good and bad. Good: because he's not stressing out over the little things. Bad: because he's not stressing out about it means that he has bigger, more important things to stress about.

A week ago, we went up to Nashville to have follow up appointments with his surgeon, Dr. Thompson, and his Neuro Oncologist (chemo doctor), Dr. Moots. Both appointments went well. Nathan is healing well - both physically and neurologically - from his craniotomy. In fact, he's doing so well that Dr. Thompson asked Nathan if he could take a picture with him. The reason for this picture is because of a girl. After sitting in and observing Nathan's surgery, this girl told Dr. Thompson that she wanted to become a brain surgeon. She described the surgery as "beautiful", since Dr. Thompson's work on Nathan was flawless. So, Dr. Thompson wanted to send a picture of Nathan looking healthy and doing well! So glad that Nathan's surgery gave this girl her calling. How cool is that?

While we're on the subject of Dr. Thompson, I just wanted to say how much we loved him and would recommend him to anyone. Choosing a person to operate on your brain is a pretty hard decision to make. Nathan went with his gut and chose Dr. Thompson, and he couldn't have made a better choice for his surgeon. He's currently reading David Servan-Schreiber's Anticancer: A new way of life, and he showed me this excerpt that perfectly describes how and why Nathan chose Dr. Thompson.

Now, don't get me wrong - Vanderbilt definitely has state-of-the-art equipment. But, when you have that plus an intelligent and renowned brain surgeon who sincerely cares about his patients, it doesn't get much better.

Ok! On to the meeting with Dr. Moots. As I previously said, it went well. He also told us that Nathan was doing well neurologically and that he was very impressed by how well he was dealing with treatments, given his situation. Basically, Nathan is giving 110%, and it's showing. He is fighting with all he has, and I am so proud of him.

We came home from Nashville on Tuesday and went straight to Erlanger for an afternoon radiation session. After that, our week was a whirlwind filled with both of us working here and there, Jack running a fever, and, most importantly, the sudden passing of Dr. Jeff, my sister's father-in-law. Dr. Jeff was such a kind-hearted man, a wonderful husband, father and grandfather, a faithful servant of Christ, and just a genuinely "good" person. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family. He will be dearly, dearly missed.

The life lessons that I've been learning throughout this journey are far too many to count. I understand that we need cold, rainy days to appreciate the warm, sunny ones. So, I guess we have to have sadness in our lives so we can fully cherish the joy that will come, too. I just pray for those who are having a rainy day to trust that God will bring them some sunshine soon.

Much love and many thanks,

Elizabeth

Week 2 of Treatments

Dear Friends,

It has been a while since we shared an update about Nathan. Part of the reason is that I want to be respectful not to fill up your inbox; the other reason is that there has not been too much to tell.

Nathan is concluding his second week of treatments. He receives chemotherapy 7 days a week and gets radiation M-F, both done in Chattanooga where he lives. Although he felt pretty well the first week of treatment, this second week has been tougher. For example, he tried to get through a day without his anti-nausea medicine and soon got sick that morning. So, now he always takes it. He is also feeling very, very tired. For someone who is normally the Energizer Bunny, he has been forced to slow waaay down. He has attempted to go into work most days but how long he can stay at his job is dependent upon his rapidly depleting fuel tank. However, Bellhops (his employer) has been simply amazing with their understanding, support and care for him. We would be remiss not to acknowledging true blessings like this.

In four more weeks, after six weeks of treatments, Nathan gets a month off before they begin again. So, we intend to go somewhere fun and enjoy that time off. He is definitely looking forward to some relief from all this and I am sure Elizabeth, who has to drive him everywhere (no one is allowed to drive for 6 months after having a seizure), will look forward to not having to chauffeur Miss Daisy around town each day.  

For you and for us, the initial terrible shock of the diagnosis has dissipated to some degree but the grind of walking through this has certainly begun. Even though this may not be front page news any longer, we do ask for your continued prayers.

On a personal note, I preached at ChristChurch in Dalton Sunday. Nathan, Elizabeth and Jack were able to come. What a joy it was for me to see them in the congregation and enjoy a meal together afterward! The Lord has had me in John 6 where Jesus was no longer doing what the people wanted. Although the crowds were following Jesus, when Jesus refused to grant their requests and even insisted that He be what ultimately sustained them, everyone left but the few disciples. Sadly, sometimes we really want the Loaves more than we want the Lord.

During this time when some of our requests have not been answered in the way we had initially had hoped, we are being reminded to seek the Savior, not just the Supper. Some of the truest words I have read in a while are these: “Lord, to whom else shall we go? You have the Words of eternal life.” Sunday, although many folks were there, it felt like I was speaking that truth to my son… and especially to myself.

Thank you again for your faithful prayers and many expressions of love for Nathan and his family!

Buddy

Week 1: Radiation/Chemo Report!

Mussy reporting today!

Nathan, Elizabeth, and Jack came up to Knoxville last weekend, since he was feeling so much better. Hannah wanted to have a photo shoot before Tron starts having some spotty hair loss from the radiation. The Radiologist office called bumping up the start of treatment to this past Tuesday. He and Liz had been previously told it would take a week to ten days to get the mask made but apparently because Tron was in the house, things happened quickly. Tuesday morning, they set the early morning alarm to take the chemo pill, anti-nausea pill, (spaced out just so), and then make their way down the mountain to Erlanger.

Day one was uneventful, with little to report. His only complaint was feeling a little foggy. Day two, he went to work afterwards. I was really glad he did because we all know that Tron loves his job!! Day three, he had a strange bout of losing his train of thought however, day four, it seemed to go away. Oh yeah, how could I forget, he ran two miles one of those days!! He's a freaking beast!! Then yesterday, he decided to leave off the nausea pill because he wasn't sure it was necessary. The Oncologist said sometimes folks don't need it. Welp, on the way down the mountain, his breakfast ended up in Yeti's leftover dog food bag. The experiment of leaving it out is over and never, ever will he not partake!.......Lesson learned! Speaking from the mom camp, Nathan was my throw-up kid. He was notorious for over-indulging and without warning, letting it rip wherever he was, with or without a trash can. I'm just glad they were quick enough to grab sweet Yeti's bag or the Subaru Forester would have been marked for life, just like the carpet was beside Nathan's twin bed.

After he took his pill, things settled down. He came home, crashing for a much needed nap. Yesterday afternoon, he called me and I was thrilled. He sounded amazing. I know all this stuff is not just physically hard, there's the mental anguish also. Overall, he's done fantastic this week. I'm not sure if we can officially say one week is down because he didn't go on Monday, but he has the weekend off from the Radiation. The chemo continues every day for five more weeks. We will try to at least give a weekly report.

I'm so very proud of him. I know that probably goes without saying. If you don't know Nate very well,  you probably don't know what a rock star he is. You probably don't know how he started his own golf ball selling business in Gettysvue when he was just a tot. He always was looking for a way to make money.  (One year for Halloween, he dressed up as a millionaire. Hilarious! He had fake money coming out of all his pockets and wore a suit!!) That's my boy. Ha! All of that drive and determination is in full swing right now. It's just being funneled in a different direction. But it's defiantly there, determined to do everything in his power to beat this thing.

What a privilege it is to see how God is showing up too!! He's EVERYWHERE!! Day after day we are honored to run into folks telling us they are praying, or how this has impacted their lives. Who would ever want such a horrendous thing to enter into their world? We sure haven't. But here we are. Day after day, our family wakes up thinking about all the many facets of this. We are family, we are community. Because of that, we are ALL impacted daily. The interconnection will hopefully bring us all strength, as well as closer to each other and to the One who is calling the shots.

In my own life,  I have struggled and questioned God. What I have come away with after many tears through the years, is that God is more loving than I have ever been able to grasp. His ways are different than ours. Way different. The question I have to always ask myself is, do I trust Him? Do I trust Him when I can't see the next step? The truth is, what do I truly know about the next step anyhow? When faced with something as insurmountable as a grade 4 brain tumor, the reality is, we are at His mercy. No amount of determination can force His hand. Na Na's response has been to leaning in. I see it, as do others.  He's stepping into the dark abyss. He's laying down his worry. He's realizing to not take life for granted. His priorities have shifted. This life and how he lives it will never, ever be the same. What am I most proud of? Nathan is pointing others in the way to walk, just like Paul did. With each post he's saying.......go......go this way. It's the way to life.  [Romans 8:18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.] In this verse, Paul is pointing us to the future. He is telling us God uses our sufferings to produce a future glory. We are going to be more like Jesus. He wants us to endure, engage and bless. That's what I see in my boy.........He's a child of the King! In this beautiful, horrible mess i see Jesus. I see Jesus manifested in my son. For this, I praise God!

Romans 8:24,25 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

Don't Worry

Hey everyone!

I wanted to share July 15th's devotional from Jesus Calling with you all because it was so relevant to me and hopefully you all:

July 15

Do not worry about tomorrow! This is not a suggestion, but a command. I divided time into days and nights, so that you would have manageable portions of life to handle. My grace is sufficient for you, but its sufficiency is for only one day at a time. When you worry about the future, you heap day upon day of troubles onto your flimsy frame. You stagger under this heavy load, which I never intended you to carry.

Throw off this oppressive burden with one quick thrust of trust. Anxious thoughts meander about and crisscross in your brain, but trusting Me brings you directly into My Presence. As you thus affirm your faith, shackles of worry fall off instantly. Enjoy My Presence continually by trusting Me at all times.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

—Matthew 6:34

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

—2 Corinthians 12:9

Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.

—Psalm 62:8 nkjv

Wow. This was the perfect message at the perfect time, and it is so true. You have no control (whether you think you do or not) over the future or what is to come. Take me as an example. I thought I was invincible, and it turns out I am not. You just don't know what the future holds, so there is no use in worrying about it. Take it one day at a time, and thank God for giving you another day, because you never know what is around the corner.

I know 'take it one day at a time' is very cliche phrase, but it is so true, and now I understand why. 'Live each day to the fullest' is another cliche statement, but again it is sooo true. When something like this happens to you, it is truly eye opening to what is important in life. I know I hit on that topic in my last post, but if anyone learns anything from this whole experience I want it to be to not take anything for granted! I played golf yesterday and got pretty emotional because I didn't know if I would ever be able to play golf again (I use 'play' as a loose term. I shanked the ball all over the place..).

Going from thinking I was invincible to the situation I am in, even though it has been really hard, has been an amazing thing for my faith and family. God has shown up in more ways than one, and it has really helped me figure out what is important and what is not. Thank you all for the continued prayers and support for me and my family. It is truly appreciated and needed.

Much Love,

Nate

Some Good News

It has been a little while since we have posted an update. That is mainly because there have not really been any headlines to share. But, we do have a few to offer:

Nathan has continued to heal from the surgery and seems to be feeling more like his old self with each passing day. He has also re-tooled his eating habits. He has always been fairly health-conscientious but he has taken that up a notch and has basically cut out processed foods, sugars and artificial sweeteners. He has combined this new healthy diet with some exercise and even ran 3 miles yesterday. To his credit, he is doing everything he can to be as strong as possible and give his body every chance to fight the good fight before him. Being at home, sleeping in his own bed, playing with his son Jack and even going into work for some brief visits have all helped him feel better and a bit more “normal” again. So, the last two weeks have been good weeks for Nathan.

Tomorrow morning, he meets with Dr. Kimsey, the radiologist oncologist at Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga. This will just be a consultation. The good news is that Nathan does not have to go back to Vanderbilt for his treatments; he can receive them Chattanooga, which will make things much easier to manage for them. Remember, Nathan is not allowed to drive for 6 months since he had a seizure. So, treatments in Chattanooga makes life much easier for the both and a lot less driving for Elizabeth. Within the next few days, Nathan will begin his treatment protocol of chemotherapy 7 days/week and radiation 5 days/week. He will do that for a month and then he gets a break before it starts back again.

Today, we all got some good news from Dr. Moots, the neuro oncologist at Vanderbilt. Vanderbilt’s Pathology Department had conducted a molecular testing of the tumor tissue. Dr. Moots wrote us with the results: “There is an IDH-1 gene mutation. This is common in ‘secondary’ glioblastomas and predicts a better response and better control than tumors without this feature… the molecular results are encouraging.” So, this pathology report simply means that Nathan’s glioblastoma will respond better to treatment that other forms of this tumor. For that, we say, “Thank you LORD!” We needed some good news!

Let me conclude this by saying THANK YOU! So, so many people have done so many loving, generous and godly acts of kindness. It is simply so, so humbling. Frankly, it has been a lesson to me on how to love someone in difficult times. On behalf of Nathan, Elizabeth, Jack and the entire family, we could not be more grateful for your prayers, donations, and a host of amazingly creative and sacrificially practical acts that have made a tough patch of life easier for a faithful, yet still anxious young family. God Bless You! 

Buddy

Trust

Hey everybody!

So far, today has been my best day yet! I am starting to feel like my old self again.

During this last month, time has felt like it stood still. It seems like yesterday I was back in my office, without a clue that my life would be changed forever. Life has a way of automatically reprioritizing what is important to you when something like this happens. My good friend and co-worker, Clay Ingram, made a great point by asking the question, "How do we go about living our lives with our priorities straight without something terrible like this happening?" I have thought a lot about that, but in the end it just takes putting God in the center of everything. He will reprioritize what is important and also teach you some lessons, like trusting others...

I always thought I was a trusting person until I HAD to trust people to do things for me. I am not sure if it was a pride/control thing or what, but when it came down to it, I was not ok with concept of trust. For example, my first night out of the hospital I questioned every pill my wife, Elizabeth, gave me. "Are you sure I am supposed to take four of these? How many times a day? Are you sure?" I was convinced she was wrong about the dosage/how many times a day to take them, but of course, she wasn't. I have really learned to trust others and not rely on my own assessment of things. I think this lesson will help me at work as well.

Let me just say Elizabeth has been my rock. Not only is she dealing with this in a different way, but she has also been tossed into a role where she is paying the bills, taking notes at doc. appointments, keeping track of when I need to take my meds, driving me around (TN has a law where you can't drive unless you are seizure free for 6 months... 5 months to go) and much, much more. She has been so strong through all of this, and I really don't know where I would be without her. I love you, Liz!

Liz's notebook FILLED with Doc. Appointment notes

Going forward, I am going to try and get back to work a few half days a week to slowly return to a normal routine, which I am excited about. It will be fun to be back at work. I have really missed it.

Through all of this, God keeps teaching me lessons: how to trust, how to receive, and what it means to love. I am looking forward to what He will teach me next.

I truly can't begin to thank you all for everything you have done. From the bracelets, to the T-shirts, to donating, to just reading this blog, each and every one of you has made a positive impact on our family's life, and we can't thank you enough for the grace and mercy you have shown us.

Love,
Nate

The Return Of Tron!!

It's me, Mom/Mussy/Big Mom. The long awaited day finally came. The return of Tron to Bellhops! I woke up this morning to the zinging sound of the Nutra Bullet. Yes, the new regimen is in full swing. Thanks to Billy and Mary Blount's sweet gift, Nathan was up and at 'um making his morning concoction to start the day off right. A concerted effort to shift his diet and think about nutrition is well under way. I suppose it's the end of Red Bull, Gatorade, and the like. Hello kale chips, almond milk and chia seeds. This is training folks and we, #teamnatedog are not kidding. Are you in?

Bearden High school Tron throw back!!

We arrived at Bellhops around 10:00, as planned. Apparently, everything had been staged by Cameron and the gang before we walked in. It looked casual, nothing out of the ordinary but this is how sweet they are. They didn't want to overwhelm him with the normal shenanigans Bellhops staff are known for.  Such as, clapping monkeys, beer pong antics, or indoor parades. Instead, the atmosphere was cool, calm, and all chill. Tron is in the house, folks!!!

The time with friends and co-workers was amazing. The love from everyone is truly overwhelming. Elizabeth and I toured the new digs with Hannon, (who decorated this amazing facility) had a cup of very strong coffee, (I still have a small buzz hanging on) and marveled at the huge operation. This place is something else. No wonder Nathan loves his job. It all makes perfect sense when you spend a morning with his team. 

While were were there, Nathan wanted me to tell the recent miraculous story that happened a couple days ago. It's not my story; it's Buddy Fogo's, Elizabeth's dads. This one is unreal, so grab a seat, possibly a tissue cause it will knock your socks off. Here we go:

Buddy Fogo set up a business meeting a couple of weeks ago with a client to meet at Starbucks. For some reason, instead of Starbucks the venue was shifted to McDonalds. The meeting was Friday, July 3rd. Buddy was running late and almost cancelled but eventually made it. He'd been there about thirty minutes when a lady came over to his table and interrupted him. She said God had lead her to come over to talk to him. She stated she had been hesitant to do so, but the nudging was too much to ignore. She said she knew he had been going through a hard time with his family.  The message God wanted her to convey to Buddy was, "Everything's going to be alright." (Can you believe this???)

Buddy started to cry. He'd never seen this woman before.  He told her about Nathan, explaining all that's transpired in the past month. She said she didn't know why she had been lead to McDonalds, but now it all made sense. After many tears were shed, she laid her hands on Buddy's head and prayed. Her only instructions were for him to come home, lay his hands on Nathan's head and pray as she had with him. Buddy did just that. As soon as we got home from Nashville, Buddy, Beth, and Jack came over. He shared what had happened. He laid his hand on Nathan's scarred head and prayed. We shed more tears. God showed up. God blessed us using a total stranger to rely a message because he wanted us to know that, "Everything's going to be alright." Granted, we don't know exactly just how but I, for one,  rest in the assurance of whatever that means. We are simply blown away with his love and mercy day after day. 

After sharing the story with the Bellhops gang we decided to eat lunch and one of their favorite spots in Chatty, Public House. It's been so good to get out and have a normal kind of day.

After a stop at Whole Foods, ($100 dollars later) to obtain all the crazy stuff he's trying to eat now, we made it home. I thought he'd be ready for a nap, I sure was. Nope, he went for a run. DID YOU HEAR ME? He decided he'd give it a shot. He ran 1.3 miles. I'm simply amazed. Afterwards, he said he was really sore but it felt good. I'm praying he will continue to press on toward the goal set before him. God has lot's for him to be about.

                                                                 
                                                                     Hebrews 12:1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Fight Like Nate

So here's what's been going on since we we found out that Nathan was diagnosed with a Grade 4 Glioblastoma brain tumor: Because his tumor is very aggressive, they want to start treatment (chemo and radiation) as soon as possible. However, we still have to wait a few weeks so his body can fully recover from his brain surgery. So, for the past two days, we've been in Nashville meeting with a Neuro Oncologist (Dr. Moots) to talk about Chemo treatment and a Radiation Oncologist (Dr. Cmelak) to talk about Radiation treatment. It's definitely been an exhausting two days going from appointment to appointment to appointment, and so on...

Here's an extremely summarized version of our appointments:

Wednesday-

We had a great meeting with Dr. Moots. He is the doctor who is in charge of Nathan's chemo treatment. Basically, Nathan will be on Temodar. He'll take this pill during his radiation treatment and continue it after radiation. I'll explain more about this in a bit.

Thursday-

We met with Dr. Cmelak and Dr. Cameron to talk about Radiation treatment. Basically, they're advising Nathan to have 6 weeks of Radiation treatment (which he can possibly do in Chattanooga - yay!). He'll have to go every single day (5 days a week). Apparently, the actual radiation session only takes about 15-20 minutes to do. So, first, they'll create a mold of Nathan's face that looks like this:

During radiation treatment, they obviously want to keep his head in the exact same spot each time-- so this mask will help to ensure that.

So, for the visual learners like me, here's a vague schedule of what Nathan will be going through for the next little while:

1.  Six weeks of radiation and chemo

       -Radiation treatment is 5 days a week (Mon-Fri)

       -Chemo Temodar pill every single day for 6 weeks (7 days a week)

2. 1 month off to recover & a MRI scan to check on things

3. After the month of recovery, Nathan will go back on Temodar - but will take it a little differently than before...

       -Once a month, for 5 consecutive days in a row, Nathan will take Temodar, and his dosage will be doubled. He'll only have to take it for those 5 days, and then he will give his body a break until the next round. He'll continue this cycle for (more than likely) 12 months. He'll also have MRI scans every 2-3 months to make sure there's not any regrowth. During this time, he should be feeling a bit better and go back to everyday life.

-IF there is any regrowth, that's when we'll start looking into clinical trials around the country. As of right now, because Nathan's tumor has been removed, he isn't a candidate for clinical trials. It's only if his tumor comes back. Dr. Thompson did an amazing job removing 95% of his tumor. There are only microcells left, and hopefully chemo and radiation will take care of them. We've definitely been doing our homework with all of the clinical trials out there. They're fascinating!

So, we've caught wind of the AMAZING bracelets that have been made for Nathan. We are so excited about them, and we genuinely want to thank Blair Webber, Paul Dickenson, and everyone at Bellhops that made this happen. 

For all of you Knoxvillians, you can grab one at Obligato, Elle, Neighborhood Barre, and TN FLY CO (which will be available online, for anyone else interested). These will all be available on Monday. Thank you in advance for your support. We hope that these bracelets will be a simple reminder to not only Fight Like Nate-- but to live life to the fullest, too. We love you all and greatly appreciate your support in joining us in this fight. 

We are returning to Chattanooga tomorrow, after being away from our home for an entire month. We've been staying at Nathan's dad and step mom's house - which has been wonderful. Seriously, we've been calling it Resort de Sexton. Debbie, Gretchen, and Buddy have been catering to our every need, and we can't thank them enough. It's truly been a blessing. Nathan and I have kind of gone back in time and reverted to "teenager mode". We eat all of their food, we sleep in, they've been doing some of our laundry, and when we leave messes, they let us leave it and clean up after us. So, it's going to a bit of a shock coming back into real life and making us "adult" now. So, THANK YOU Debbie, Gretchen, and Buddy for being wonderful parents to us and literally taking so much weight off of our shoulders.  We love you!

So, since we've been living in Knoxville for the past month, our sweet Jack has been living with my parents, Buddy and Beth, in Chattanooga. This has definitely been the hardest part about our current situation. We miss seeing Jack daily, but it's been very necessary for Jack to stay with my parents as Nathan is recovering. Nathan has been very sensitive to loud noises, and who else does "loud" better than a 19 month old? My parents bring him up at least once a week, so we have been cherishing those long-awaited moments with him. We are SO excited about seeing him when we get home. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for taking care of him. You all have no idea how much you helped me get through this month knowing that Jack was safe and sound with his Meepsie and Bud!

One more member of our family that we can't forget - Yeti! Our friends have been AWESOME about taking him in as one of their own. Thank you Jenna and Adam Shearer and Emily Glascock for taking care of our sweet boy. You all have no idea how much stress you all have lifted off of us. Yeti is our other baby, so we can't thank you enough for not only taking care of him -- but taking him to daycare, taking him to the lake to swim, and just making him a part of your family. 

To all of our friends who have cleaned our house, stocked our fridge, mowed our yard, gotten our mail, done laundry, and whatever else needed to be taken care of in Chattanooga while we were away: THANK YOU. We have the most amazing group of friends who have surrounded us with love and support. We love you all so much. 

All I can say is thank you - again, and again, and again... I am humbled daily by every one's generosity and kindness to my family. You all are giving us more strength and encouragement than you can possibly imagine. We are forever grateful.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." -2 Corinthians 4:16-17

Much love and many thanks,

Elizabeth

Pathology

On this hot June day, our news of pathology was delivered. It was not what we wanted to hear but at least now we know what we are dealing with and can now begin gathering information to combat it. It is a stage 4 Glioblastoma. We were told that's a broad term with many variations of tumors in the category. The molecular analysis is still pending and could be next week before we hear those particulars. So for now, it's this.

We will be heading back to Nashville next week for our first meeting with the Neuro Oncologist and Radiation Oncologist. A plan will be devised and implemented. We know for sure there will be chemo and radiation. From there, there are hundreds of clinical trials to sift through. It's a lot to unpack. One day at a time.

Dr. Thompson told us in the first meeting he is an optimist and a realist. What I have explained is reality. The positives are his age, the enhancements have been removed (95%+ of the tumor is gone), he's neurological well, and he's otherwise healthy. For this, we are grateful.

Those are the facts. But God. As his mother, I will be cheering him on as I always have at every little league game his entire life. We will be focused. We will be forthright. There are many uncertainities in life. As Kathy Keller says, "God doesn't give us grace for our imagination." He gives it in abundance otherwise.

We love you all and covet your continued prayers as we move forward,
Gretchen

Coming Home

Yesterday (Sunday), Nathan was discharged from Vanderbilt Medical. We drove him (slowly) back to the hotel where he wanted to stay one night before traveling home. This morning, we loaded up two cars and drove back to Knoxville.

Nathan will be staying with us for a few days. It has been comforting to be able to care for him here and Elizabeth too. They are easy and we love them.

Nathan will still stay on some prescriptions like the Keppra (anti-seizure medicine), rest and try to regain strength from having his head opened up and stapled and screwed back together. It is amazing that his head does not hurt more than he admits it does.

In a few days, we will get the pathology report describing the type of tumor that was carefully removed, and yet as skillful as the surgeon was, some stray cells still remain. We hold our breath waiting on that report and continue to pray for the Lord to give mercy, much mercy.

Thank you so much for standing with us with your prayers. Your incredible generosity, unstoppable faithfulness and relentless love mean so much more than you can imagine. Thank you and God Bless YOU!

Buddy